Woodpeckers

Woodpeckers should be Canada's national bird. Hard working and hard headed. I like that. They whack their beaks into trees all day and don't get headaches (as far as I know). If they did, they'd be getting back to the nest at night saying, "Dang! I've got one jack-hammer of a headache, dear." "Got any Tylenol?"

Life as a woodpecker is the quintessential man's life. You always have a freshly charged cordless drill in your possession and your favourite saying is, "Got Wood!?"

I'm glad woodpeckers eat bugs and not people. Imagine walking through the woods and all of a sudden a red-headed, pileated woodpecker the size of a crow starts drilling into your cranium. As a matter of fact, I think I'll send this post to Stephen King so he can write a movie on that. I might be called, "The Drill Zone".

And how do animals sleep in the daytime with woodpeckers around? As we know, most animals are nocturnal - so that means they sleep, or try to sleep, in the daytime. I don't know about you but I've sat in my tree stand many a time listening to a woodpecker incessantly whacking away at a nearby tree. No joke, one time I actually said from my tree stand, "Holy crap! Will you cut it out already!"

I then heard a deer in the woods about 20 yards behind me say, "Thanks Dude."

Woodpeckers could reek havoc on the moose population too. Moose don't have hands like we do. So when a woody perches himself on a moosie's horns and starts drilling him between the eye-balls the only thing a moose can do is run through the brush like a freight train screaming bloody murder. 'Cause dat's what it is, bro!

This whole thread (aka literary gem) was inspired by a conversation with my Dad in the shop. I said to him that when I was in my twenties I worked out so hard my muscles were as hard as woodpecker lips.

Dad laughed and then pondered out loud, "I wonder what woodpeckers take for a headache?"

So kudos to Dad!